According to some of my best clients, this is what I am. I don't mind the title, in fact I kind of enjoy it. I am a neutral party that will help to give you perspective on any given situation. I can also do it while you are under the influence of alcohol if you choose. That's right, we serve beer and wine. As much as you want while your paying to sit in the chair, just like a bar. I am also a Libra according to my astrological birth chart so I have a tendency to veer towards neutral at all times, it works for me. Most of my clients I have known for 7 years or longer so i do have the advantage of knowing quite a bit of backstory. I guess I'm not completely neutral, just unbiased towards your "real life" I only see the parts you want to show me. Here is my advice on getting people to talk to you like a bartender.
- Agree with most of their story. They want an audience, not an argument.
- Don't try to make plans with them following a divulgence of information, they silently panic when they realize that you now know something too personal and could be considered an enemy
- Keep the conversation going by asking questions like, "what does he/she think about that?", or "How did that make you feel?"
- Don't start telling your own version of their same story. They want to talk way more than listen
- You have to actually enjoy what they are telling you. I pretend it's my life for a minute and see myself in that situation to make it really interesting
- Know that it takes time to build a relationship of trust. You're not going to get the good stuff the first months, perhaps even years.
- Keep the secrets. If you must re-tell them in anecdotal forms protect the privacy of everyone in the story, which means you might not be able to tell it.